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| love his expression |
Thursday was a glasses day.
I woke up Wednesday morning with a slight sinus headache in my left eye-brow- area. It spread. By Wednesday night I had a full fledged cold complete with shivering and high temperatures. It was pretty miserable. To make matters worse, I couldn't fall asleep! I did eventually, around 4. I slept on and off Thursday morning, waking at 11 or so. Worked a bit, did my econ homework, went back to sleep, woke up at 4 did some work, talked with neighbors, rested, worked, ate, played Bastion, worked, rested, went to sleep. I was feeling better than Wednesday night, but it was just one of those days where you sleep through most of it, and you don't get much done. It's a day where you stay in pajamas, don't comb your hair, and don't put in your contacts. That's a glasses day.
But, God again planned it all to benefit me.
Here's how I know: I had been thinking about buying this indie game called Bastion. It looked unique and I heard it had a fantastic story. I was pondering last Tuesday, should I buy it. What do you know, Blam! It goes on sale for half off(7.50)! When I got home Tuesday first thing, I... took a nap. And sorted other issues. But then bought it! Little did I know I would be sick all day Wednesday and Thursday. So when the sickness steamrolled me, I actually had time to play a video game! (I haven't really played one in about 2/3 weeks) It seems like He just planned it all perfectly. He knew I'd be sick, to sick to really work, and so He provided. The game, sickness, the sale, the timing of it all seems awfully perfect. (I loved the game too, It's narration and story design, I would argue, is equivalent/on par with Dicken's Tale of Two Cities. I will be blogging upon that sometime, perhaps later this week.)
I was thinking to myself Wednesday night. I had finished the game and had seen how amazing it was. I was feeling horrible, and I had tons of work I knew needed to be done. But I wasn't frustrated, I wasn't sad. I thought that if so many of my friends who have far worse medical complications could live with far greater suffering, and still be joyful. Why not I as well?
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| so funny, so true |
I... was almost happy that I was sick. I suppose the correct term would be content. I was content to simply trust that Jesus had it all taken care of. It was like last week when I got food poisoning. I sat next to the toilet for three hours, wishing I would throw up just so my stomach would stop hurting. But I knew that if Jesus took care of my friends who had gone through worse, I could be content to be in His arms. In moments like that, I've learned that if you don't laugh, you cry. And so I choose to laugh about it, rather than grieve, moan or complain. Hard? Yes, and I fail in that philosophy many times. But that's not going to stop me from trying. "For I do so love to laugh,[Mr. Darcy.]"
Well I should get back to work I suppose. I intend to be writing on this thing more often, just FYI.
Here's the song I listen to in situations like these.(BTW, yes I'm still sick, but I'm much stronger.) It's so simple, and yet so deep. I love it. I love music and playing music because of songs like this one.
All I can Say
Lyrics:
Lord I'm tired So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark Is creeping in
Creeping up To swallow me
I think I'll stop Rest here a while
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything
Lord didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember Where you sat it down
And this is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that That was You washing my feet
And this is all
This is all that I can say right now,
oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give,
that's my everything.
