"Never Give Up On Hope"

     Three of my grandparents are dying.

(Oh, I see I have your attention? Heheh. )
But in all seriousness, they are.  Two grandpas and a grandma, all are very dear to me. One lost forty pounds and the grandma had a nasty fall, she was in so much pain that she missed my musical.  And this was what I've known since Spring break. 

    It would be easy to worry, to fear, or be afraid of what will happen.  To be frank, life in general has been rough.  I've been overwhelmed, almost this whole year it seems. Back and forth, I've fought hard to keep my head above water.   I have so many things I have to do, so many goals and dreams I want to accomplish;  so many little distractions that grab me and become intimidating and huge when so close.  There's so much I don't know or understand.

    But, I'm not afraid. Tired, and a little weary now and then, but I am...content (Phill. 4:11-13).  I'm blessed beyond what I deserve; loved far greater than I ever imagined.  I don't know what to pray for, what to expect, what to think.  All I know, is this: we'll never be alone. Jesus is always with me,  and that is all I need to know.

Haha!  Such small problems compared to Christ!  What is there to worry about?  God does not want us to give up on our dreams, He simply wants us to give them up to Him.  They are far better in His hands.  Are you worried?  God cares much more about it than you do, have you given it to Him?  That is painfully hard sometimes, but it is worth it.  How do you give something up?  Let it go from your grasp and into God's control.  In one word: prayer.  We have a world to win my friends, and yet we concern ourselves with things that are so very beneath us. Rise above it. We can't be grateful to God for all He's given us when we despair about what we don't have.  It's so hard to see God's love and mercy when my eyes are on myself.

Time and time again, I disobey Him, but God just lovingly looks at me/us and says:

“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”- C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity

You could easily find things to despair about.  There are plenty of songs, artists, philosophers, writers, movies, and books, all ready to give you ample reason, and they are more right than not.  We live in a horribly wrong world.  And I see what's wrong in it--human sin--but, I see something underneath the caked on layers of human filth.  Something real, higher, purer, truer, better: Jesus and His handiwork. That Jesus lives gives me hope and joy and life enough!

"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

Do you need a reason to sing?  You will never be alone--Jesus will see to that! It will be hard, but that will be enough.

I am praying for you all. Now, I write all this so that you will be encouraged.  We all struggle, so I urge you: be strong! We are conquerors! Rejoice my brothers and sisters, we are loved!

(BTW, To everyone who knows me: you may always count on me to be your true friend--to pray, or talk with you, or help however I may. Just let me know.)


Let me leave you with a song:

"A Reason to Sing" 

-All the Sons and Daughters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncwfhqm14y8&feature=endscreen&NR=1

When the pieces seem too shattered
To gather off the floor

And all that really matters
Is I can't feel you anymore
No, I can't feel you anymore

I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to know that you're still holding
the whole world in your hands
I need a reason to sing

When I'm overcome by fear
And I hate everything I know
If this waiting lasts forever
I'm afraid I might let go
I'm afraid I might let go

There be a victory
You sing it over me now

Your peace is the melody
You sing it over me now

That is a reason to sing

Edit: Ok, ok, I know I'm editing this again, buuuut  I have more songs! Dealz wid it yo.  My blog, my rules.  I'm putting 'em up. Cut ya some slack though, I won't list out all the lyrics, just links

I love these guys!

Alive - All Sons and Daughters

Keep Me Near

The Cost 

Build Your Kingdom here

- Rend Collective Experiment

Randomrantonlifeandwhatsup

love his expression

 Thursday was a glasses day.

I woke up Wednesday morning with a slight sinus headache in my left eye-brow- area. It spread. By Wednesday night I had a full fledged cold complete with shivering and high temperatures. It was pretty miserable. To make matters worse, I couldn't fall asleep! I did eventually, around 4. I slept on and off Thursday morning, waking at 11 or so. Worked a bit, did my econ homework, went back to sleep, woke up at 4 did some work, talked with neighbors, rested, worked, ate, played Bastion, worked, rested, went to sleep. I was feeling better than Wednesday night, but it was just one of those days where you sleep through most of it, and you don't get much done. It's a day where you stay in pajamas, don't comb your hair, and don't put in your contacts. That's a glasses day.

But, God again planned it all to benefit me.

Here's how I know: I had been thinking about buying this indie game called Bastion. It looked unique and I heard it had a fantastic story. I was pondering last Tuesday, should I buy it. What do you know, Blam! It goes on sale for half off(7.50)! When I got home Tuesday first thing, I... took a nap. And sorted other issues. But then bought it! Little did I know I would be sick all day Wednesday and Thursday. So when the sickness steamrolled me, I actually had time to play a video game! (I haven't really played one in about 2/3 weeks) It seems like He just planned it all perfectly. He knew I'd be sick, to sick to really work, and so He provided. The game, sickness, the sale, the timing of it all seems awfully perfect. (I loved the game too, It's narration and story design, I would argue, is equivalent/on par with Dicken's Tale of Two Cities. I will be blogging upon that sometime, perhaps later this week.)

I was thinking to myself Wednesday night. I had finished the game and had seen how amazing it was. I was feeling horrible, and I had tons of work I knew needed to be done. But I wasn't frustrated, I wasn't sad. I thought that if so many of my friends who have far worse medical complications could live with far greater suffering, and still be joyful. Why not I as well?

so funny, so true

I... was almost happy that I was sick. I suppose the correct term would be content. I was content to simply trust that Jesus had it all taken care of. It was like last week when I got food poisoning. I sat next to the toilet for three hours, wishing I would throw up just so my stomach would stop hurting. But I knew that if Jesus took care of my friends who had gone through worse, I could be content to be in His arms. In moments like that, I've learned that if you don't laugh, you cry. And so I choose to laugh about it, rather than grieve, moan or complain. Hard? Yes, and I fail in that philosophy many times. But that's not going to stop me from trying. "For I do so love to laugh,[Mr. Darcy.]"

Well I should get back to work I suppose. I intend to be writing on this thing more often, just FYI.


Here's the song I listen to in situations like these.(BTW, yes I'm still sick, but I'm much stronger.) It's so simple, and yet so deep. I love it. I love music and playing music because of songs like this one.
All I can Say
Lyrics:
Lord I'm tired So tired from walking  
And Lord I'm so alone  
And Lord the dark Is creeping in  
Creeping up To swallow me 
I think I'll stop Rest here a while

And this is all that I can say right now 
And this is all that I can give  
And this is all that I can say right now  
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything

Lord didn't You see me cry'n?  
And didn't You hear me call Your name?  
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember Where you sat it down


And this is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much. 
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.  
This is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.  
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

I didn't notice You were standing here  
I didn't know that That was You holding me 
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that That was You washing my feet

And this is all
This is all that I can say right now, 
oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give,
that's my everything.